If...

...I had something better to do, I wouldn't be typing this out.

...I had a gun. I wouldn't kill anyone I hate. True story.

...I start a band, it's name would be SRRSC.

...you haven't listened to Mickey Avalon yet, you should.

...you find the need to tell be about your girl problems, I feed bad for you son. And you know the rest.

...your dick looks like 2 fries, my dick is super-sized.

...you think I'm damn lazy and useless, you're probably right.

...I have projects due, I should be working on them and not blogging.

...you let me pass this semester, God, I promise I will be a good boy next year.

...you can laugh when you talk to me about how you're only with your boyfriend because he's nice, and that you will ditch him after you've had your fun, I can only hope that you die in a car crash. This is why I wouldn't shoot anyone I hate. Hope is a very powerful thing.

...you think that I am very nasty by hoping that someone will die in a car crash, I'd like you to know my original wish was for the person to survive the car crash and live the rest of her life as a vegetable.

...you think that I can be pushed around, you're half right.